I hate the word ‘just.’ Not a passing dislike. Not even a mild annoyance. No. A deep, abiding hatred of the word.
Because you can never use it in a kind situation. It’s connotation implies that the following action is easy.
“Just do it.”
There is hardly anything ‘just’ about any situation where it is applied. Otherwise, it would be common sense and would not be stated. ‘Just’ has a level of condescension that should not be used in polite society.
“Can’t you just…” As if the following phrase is something that you should have thought of, but didn’t, and seems remarkably simple to the speaker of the phrase. If the topic is a point of stress, which it likely is, if you are talking to someone about it, ‘just’ is perhaps the least appropriate word in that situation. Beyond that, you are minimizing the entire problem and making your fellow human being feel like an imbecile.
Meanwhile, you feel superior for making the simplest suggestion that you can’t believe they missed.
Perhaps say, “Have you considered…?” or “What about…?” It still supplies the question or piece of advice. It simply eliminates the superiority kick you receive by supplying the advice.
The other person can respond as an equal. Not as an inferior human being. You will be more compassionate. You will not seem like the asshole who minimizes other people’s problems and feels better about themselves.
I know this isn’t an easy problem to solve. There’s nothing, “just” about fixing the problem.
I ask that you consider your fellow human being the next time you feel compelled to say, “Just…”