Letter to the sixth floor tenants

Dear 6th floor Occupants,

I realize that living on the top floor of our building gives you every right to throw roof top parties to show your friends just how cool you are. I also recognize that you have to climb the impossible stairs to the top floor. You have struggles.

I’m having some struggles too. Particularly regarding your springtime parties. Indulge me for a moment. Just because you can throw parties, does not mean the rest of the building needs to hear about it. I do not, in fact, want to hear the conversations of your guests (when I am two floors below). I especially do not want to hear their conversations at 2 in the morning.

I would also prefer if you didn’t climb up and down the fire escape at two in the morning. Surely one of you can keep track of your keys? Surely waking up the entire building by declaring just how cool it is that you can climb up the fire escapes to get to your apartment, since you are locked out isn’t necessary? Because I can tell you who didn’t think this new method of access was super cool: the other tenants.

Perhaps in the future, one of you guys can hold onto a set of keys? So you don’t wake up the building. That would be delightful. If you could also recognize that we don’t need to hear what a rocking party you are throwing up there (at 3:30 AM) that would just be a treat. By all means, have a social life. Just recognize that this is not your building. We share these thin walls. We all hear everything.

Yours,
A fellow tenant

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