Letter to the curious cafe patron

Dear curious cafe patron,

Thank you for voicing your curiosity about what I am making. Thank you so much for thinking it would be appropriate to come up to me, bright eyed and smiley, and ask with absolutely no trepidation, “What are you making?!”

The fact that you care about this is truly heartwarming. I so appreciate you breaking all New York protocol, of ignoring all rules of cafe engagement and engaging in conversation. It’s daring. Bold. Jaw dropping.

Especially since I gave no hint that I was remotely interested in engaging in conversation with you. Here I was, thinking that having headphones on, and making little to no eye contact would keep people like you at bay. My bad.

I shouldn’t have been so presumptuous. I should have been fully primed and ready for your perky energy. I should have known that I would be asking too much to be left alone.

Clearly doing anything with yarn is a person’s way of saying, “Please engage in conversation with me!” It couldn’t possibly mean that I want to be left alone with my hook and yarn. My yarn implies interest in friendship. It invites kinship.

It says that, “Yes, because we both love yarn, we are destined to be besties.” How could I be so foolish, thinking that people would leave me alone. I’ve learned my lesson. I know better now.

The antisocial crocheter



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